What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Is it possible for people who claim to be genuine and honest to actually not be? If so, why do they behave this way?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

TEXT:

Help. I’m 16 and just got spanked by both of my parents for taking the car. What do I do? I want to run off somewhere but I’m so scared that I’ll get spanked again. I’ve never gotten the paddle before and I’m still scared to sit

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Make Nazis afraid again!

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why am I sweating so much at night even though my room is really cold?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do I build muscle easily with isometrics?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!